What NOT To Do When Things Get Rough

A couple of years ago I had moments when I felt overwhelmed in my business. There were moments I felt stuck. I didn’t know where to go, what to do next. And the harder I tried to get out of it the more stuck I felt. The harder I tried to come up with solutions, the more I thought about what’s the next step to do should be, the worse I felt.

And truth is in that state of mind; a solution will never come to you.

And if you’re there in this moment, I can relate. And I want to share with you today what helped me and multiple others get out of these moments, and even prevent ever getting back into these moments where you feel stuck, you feel unworthy, moments like you feel you want to give up.

What I learned from these dark moments is that the reason we get stuck, stressed, overwhelmed is not caused by the circumstances we find ourselves in check it out. It’s not caused by the lack of clients, the bills that are mounting up or opportunities not showing up, …

But Bart, if I would have clients, if I’ve the money, if I’ve great partners, …I would not feel the way I feel.

That’s indeed what we’ve been learned. That’s what I thought as well.

But you don’t have to feel the way that you do, even if clients aren’t there at the moment.

What I’ve learned since my own struggles is that I don’t have to feel stuck. Business building doesn’t have to be something stressful. Getting clients doesn’t have to be a stressful thing. Even the lack of clients doesn’t have to make you anxious.

What I’ve learned and want to tell you today, is that the way you feel now about your circumstances is due to a grave misunderstanding in our thinking about what creates our experience.

Truth is that we feel our thinking, not what we’re thinking about.

Let me repeat that because it’s important to get:

We feel our thinking, not what we’re thinking about.

Meaning that what happens in the outer world, is what happens in the outer world. How we experience these things though, is 100% correlated to what we think about those things happening in the outer world.

We feel stuck because we take our thinking about a certain situation way to seriously.

Now when we are feeling stuck and overwhelmed, we try to manage things, try to do things, to fix this ‘problem’. Though by doing that we are likely to add even more fuel to the stress, to the stuckness.

What we got to learn to do is do the opposite. Instead of trying to stand up, we should relax and float the river.

Just like whitewater rafters when they fall into the water they don’t stand up, they lean back float their feet up in front of them. They don’t try to stand up because they know they’ll risk their feet getting stuck in between the rocks, fall over, drowning themselves.

When you notice yourself being stressed, being overwhelmed. You want to walk away for a moment, so your thinking can settle. And I know that might sometimes be hard, because you think you need to manage things, you need to be on top of things.

And know that you do not have to think all those stressful thoughts. 

Your best ideas will come to you when you’re in a more relaxed state of mind.

If you think about it for a second, chances are that your best ideas will come when you’re in the shower, when you’re on your way somewhere, when you’re meditating, when you’re sleeping, …

All those situations have in common that your thinking isn’t on the issue at hand.

In those moments you’ll hear and see what the next step is.

The only thing you got to do is relax your thinking and listen to your own inner wisdom guiding you.

Trust your own innate wellbeing, wisdom and common sense. It’s always there.


Bart is a transformational coach, Three Principles facilitator and business mentor. His clients typically experience deep generative changes and will attain a more hopeful, deeper grounding in life and what's possible for them.
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